My first gig. 16th May 1981.
I’ve been doing this for almost 43 years now, so you could say I’ve come a long way.
But let’s be honest:
In recent times I’ve found it increasingly difficult to cope with all the tasks the music business demands of the modern independent artist, most of which I was never very good at in the first place.
I’m trying to be my own technician, sound engineer, studio manager, curator, social media manager, web designer, booking agent, management, photographer… and the list goes on.
I’m tired, I’m drained, I’m showing clear signs of burnout and the constant rejection in this industry has eaten away at my confidence.
And while I had written my letter of resignation and was ready to sign it and quit, a few things happened in the last few weeks that made me reconsider.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about what else I’d be doing and I couldn’t find anything that made sense to me, and it’s not that I haven’t tried a dozen of other jobs.
43 years of gigging. Never coming close to success or fame. Always trying to get by. Always struggling, always doubting myself.
It’s that moment when a song connects and means something to someone.
That moment when the applause lifts you up and carries you through the evening and sometimes the night and even the next day, that makes the difference.
It’s in those moments that you don’t doubt yourself and what you’re doing, it’s in those moments that nothing else matters but the music.
It’s in those moments that I feel it’s my responsibility to carry on.
So here’s to a few more years of trying to make ends meet, trying to make a difference – for myself and maybe for someone else.
Thank you Carsten Wieland, who is an incredible artist in his own right (check out his website!) and has been there from the beginning, for sending the picture to me, and thanks to the other two people who kindly thought that I might want to have it.